There was a very interesting article entitled “Facebook and Divorce” on Time magazine’s website the other day. The article (written by Belinda Luscombe) provided a number of examples which illustrate some of the perils inherent in actively using the social networking sites during a divorce.
For example, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, so it isn’t surprising that soon-to-be ex-wives are occasionally prone to posting vengeful content (frequently greatly exaggerated or else entirely invented) on your Facebook or MySpace page and also sending similar content to friends who are listed there.
Their goal? To cause you the maximum amount of pain possible, especially by screwing up your social – and future romantic – life.
Would women really
do something like that?
Absolutely! And quite a few men would do the same thing, although in our experience women are by far the worse offenders.
But “direct sabotage” of this nature by your aggrieved partner is not your only concern. Divorce attorneys are also increasingly researching the social networking sites looking to find damaging information that could give their client an edge in court.
As the author puts it:
“Battles over finances and custody remain the Iwo Jima and Stalingrad of divorce cases. Opposing lawyers will press any advantage they have, and personal information on sites like Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn is like decoded bulletins from enemy territory.”
The author goes on to quote Joseph Cordell of Cordell & Cordell (a domestic-relations law firm with offices in 10 states), who states that:
“It’s now just routine for us to go over with clients whether they have an active presence on the Web and if they Twitter or have a MySpace page.”
If things in your relationship have deteriorated to the point that you’ll be facing a break-up soon (and especially if you’re married and expect to be facing a divorce in the near term), there would be some benefit to “sanitizing” your social networking pages of anything that could become a bit problematic for you under the circumstances.
“…
your soon-to-be ex may well have copied and saved previous content that could be damaging to you later
…”
But that’s not always effective, as your soon-to-be ex may well have copied and saved previous content that could be damaging to you later.
It’s not unusual for a partner to tire of you before you pick up on it, so she may have begun “gathering evidence” before you became aware of the need to start covering your tracks.
But it’s also not uncommon for women to save any content of possible later interest right from day one … “just in case”.
They think of it as
an “insurance policy”
And there’s always a remote possibility (in a really nasty divorce, especially if it involves a bitter custody fight) that your ex may be able to get a court order to retrieve archived content from websites or ISPs.
Therefore, it’s safest to assume that whatever you post on the Internet will last forever and that it can surface later to your detriment. As a result, I try to anticipate that possibility when posting online.
If you’re a business executive, you’re likely to be familiar with that concept already.
In that case, you’d be very careful to never put into an email (as emails are archived) or otherwise in writing anything that could be taken the wrong way.
You’re safer if you handle the most
delicate discussions in person
And that’s worthwhile advice in personal relationships: anticipate the possibility of things coming to an end some day.
For example, did you make a “sex video” or otherwise take some revealing photos of or with your mate when things were blissful? There’s a good chance that those will get posted on the internet (and perhaps sent to your family, friends and even your employer). We’ve seen it happen several times.
That’s my approach to putting anything in writing … I ask myself “Could this come back to bite me in the butt when the relationship is over?” I practice “defensive posting” in much the same way that I learned how to practice “defensive driving” when I got my first motorcycle.
“…
could this come back to bite me in the butt when the relationship is over?
…”
The odds of your current relationship eventually breaking up are very high. And break-ups are no fun even in the best of circumstances. Why make things harder on yourself by getting too easily carried away with the social networking craze?
Think first before posting.
Stay tuned,
-Mack Doppler
[...] Read more from the original source: Facebook and Divorce: What You Need To Know | The Confident Male … [...]