I ran across an article on the USA Today website which was titled “70% say brides should take husband’s name” (written by Jillian Berman and datelined August 11, 2009), and decided to add a few comments of my own.
As the title says, they found that roughly 70% of the 815 respondents in a University of Utah study agreed that it’s better for women to take her husband’s last name and about 29% said it’s better for women to keep their own names. And oddly enough, they give no breakdown of those responses by gender, even though that would seem to be a no-brainer when examining gender issues.
There’s a bit of a
disconnect, though
But if roughly 49% of their sample had been male (as is in the population at large) and even if you assume that all of the males opted for “take hubby’s name”, that’d still leave a majority (around 57%) of women who also agreed.
So it seems that there are more than a few women out there who are declining to chug-a-lug the feminist manifesto in its entirety, but rather pick and choose only the parts that might benefit themselves.
More interestingly, the article goes on to wonder whether this also indicates that people have bought into political correctness far less wholeheartedly than might be assumed based on the fact that “gender-neutral” speech has been imposed on the media and in the corporate realm.
From all I’ve seen, they’ve hit the nail on the head there … while political correctness has changed public commentary, most folks I know just go along to get along. Being PC is just one more ritual begrudgingly performed when you’re in “polite company”.
“…
there were some things you didn’t say when your parents were within earshot back when you were an adolescent
…”
It’s a similar dynamic to being a teenager: there were some things you didn’t say when your parents were within earshot back when you were an adolescent (your sex life, for a start), but you still tried to score with anyone who would say “yes”.
Your actual behavior didn’t change, you just told your parents what they wanted to hear and then you kept on doing what you wanted to do. You just followed the path of least resistance. And I believe that exactly the same takes place when people dutifully apply gender-neutral language. They’re following the path of least resistance.
My gut feeling on the
name non-changers
And as a side comment here, I’d be interested in seeing a research project that looked at divorce statistics broken down by demographic grouping which then compared divorce rates for women keeping their own names with those of similarly matched women who took hubby’s name.
Based on anecdotal evidence (all the people I’ve known over the years), I suspect that they’d find a much higher divorce rate for couples in which the wife kept her own name.
And if I were looking to get married again and my prospective bride indicated that she wanted to keep her own name, I’d see that as a red flag … enough of one that I’d not go through with it.
I’d tell her that she already has her own last name so there’s no reason to actually marry me in that case.
Stay tuned
-Mack Doppler
